Whelp, looks like I’m breaking Cardinal First Parent’s Rule Number 1: Nap When Baby Naps (or in this case, when she’s gone to the nursery) So, I was gonna update this blog Wednesday at some point but… My water broke. I’ll be sure to post the entire birth story soon! But back to me breaking this rule… We are in the hospital and per C’s smartly ingenious rationale we are taking advantage of the nursery option. We’ve been having them take baby girl C to the nursery at night but they bring her back every 2-3 hours so that I can feed her… We just sent her back about a half hour ago to try to get more sleep since we hardly got any last night. I say all of this to say, I should be asleep instead of typing this blog entry. I should be asleep instead of questioning if I’m a bad mom since we may have to supplement baby girl with formula until my milk comes in… I shouldn’t feel guilty about the breast reduction that I had over 10 years ago… I suppose you can constantly plan things out the way you THINK they will go and things don’t seem to fall into place that way… Like my OB said when we asked her if we should have a birth plan, “There is no plan because you have no control of it. You simply pray to the delivery gods that things work out smoothly.” Tons of pain medicine, over 12 hours of active labor and a caesarean later… I know what she means.
I say all of that to say, I should be ecstatic that my daughter is here happy and healthy never mind the fact that I may have to supplement her nursing with formula until my breast milk comes in. Yet, in the wee hours of the morning she looked lethargic, her little lips were beyond dry and the colostrum that I am producing is no longer enough to sustain her growing belly. The nurses informed us that she lost about 9.4% of her birth weight and tho they weren’t alarmed yet, I knew it was headed in that direction. The lactation consultant set me up with a breast pump to try to encourage my milk to come in faster by pumping in between feedings and supplementing at the breast. Unfortunately, it’s not a lot. I’ve gotten about 5cc out twice with a pumping session or two resulting in nothing. I nearly cried as C filled a syringe with Enfamil for me to give to our daughter. I felt like a failure. I nursed her and supplemented with formula while she was on my breast, cuddled her a bit and sent her back to the nursery… 2 hours later she looked much happier. Despite how much I planned to be this champion nurser, I have to accept the fact that the plan may be written another way. I suppose I’ll nap now while she’s gone and simply enjoy her when she comes back… And pray that her bilirubin levels come back normal.