Well, not really, but you just may. Hormones. Change. Drastically. and if no one has told you this, I am telling you right now. No one forewarned me that along with the cute little baby bump would come such musky and horrid body odor… Ok, maybe horrid isn’t the correct word but just know that you may go through a period of changing hygiene products. Long gone are the days of skipping a shower and simply freshening up… as if I’m the only person that does this… Any who… I’m thinking it was around 5-6 months when C really noticed it. I tried to tell her that my body odor was changing or rather that I was hot ALL OF THE TIME and I had began to sweat more. I suppose she thought I was over exaggerating until that one fateful day… It was a Sunday morning and I decided that I wanted to get all cutesy for church and wear a pair of my old high heeled boots… mind you, they weren’t easy to walk in when I WASN’T pregnant… but that’s neither here nor there. So, I got dressed in a cute little rayon blend, I think it was rayon, either way, it wasn’t a very forgiving or breathable fabric, dress that C bought me, beat my face real good with my make up and put on my heels. We headed out to church and I prayed that this was a day that the pastor decided not to do an altar call or have us standing for long periods of time. Boy, was I wrong! He called us to the altar. While he was talking and praying I was shifting all of my pregnant baby weight from one foot to the other trying to save face and pretend like my feet weren’t screaming. Meanwhile, sweat was steadily pouring. I knew this wouldn’t end well. By the end of service I knew I needed a shower. On the car ride home, C exclaimed that something smelled like onions, and I had to hold my head in shame and admit that it was me.
So, for the people who won’t tell you, I will, pregnancy can make YOU stink. I ultimately had to switch from Dove to Dial and cross over to Secret Clinical strength deodorant. This combination is working for me so far.
But after you get one situation under control, don’t be surprised if another doesn’t come floating along… Pregnancy and incontinence goes hand in hand. So much so to the point where I vomited and pee’d on myself all at the same time while sitting at my desk at work. Gross, I know. But think of how cute the little baby that is causing all of this chaos and havoc is. Word to the wise, if you feel like you have to pee, find a bathroom. even. if. it. is. only. a. trickle. You will thank me later because we all know you don’t wanna be the chick that pisses her pants in public without a spare pair of dry panties.
Anyone that says sleep now while you can must’ve never been pregnant. If you’ve made it to the third trimester, congratulations! But, we all know that between peeing just about every hour or two and deadly Charlie horses sleep becomes something of a challenge. Never mind the little person pop locking in your uterus. I’m sure you can sleep through an elbow to the rib… Can’t we all? The heartburn and indigestion is a beast all and of itself. My advice, sleep with a wholesale size bottle of Tums next to your bed. You’ll thank me later.
But all in all, my pregnancy has been smooth and uneventful. Tomorrow will make 28 weeks and I will more than likely add a bump pic to this post later. Baby girl C is rolling around quite a bit these days with added jabs and punches here and there. Some mornings we play the poking game at 4 am after I’ve come from my second bathroom run and can’t quite fall back asleep. I love being pregnant but some things I wish ladies would be more candid about, hence this blog. I find the changes that your body goes through to be miraculous and comical all in the same breath. God is truly an artist with a sense of humor but at the end of 40 weeks, give or take, you are granted as care giver of the most beautiful of humans. It is so rewarding that I would be lying if I didn’t say that C and I are counting down the days to meet our baby girl.
And for the record, C has been the most loving and understanding wife through it all. I’m sure everyone thinks that about their wives but she is truly custom made for me and I’m glad that she’s in this journey with me… Even if I blow her at times she knows that eventually once I’m tired of her ignoring me I’ll gather all of my hormonal, crazy pregnant woman hormones together to pout and apologize and ask her to not be upset with me anymore.
I LOVE YOU C and I thank you for knocking me up with our little bambino! I’ve waited forever for you and this moment!