Monthly Archives: April 2012

… in advance

Clearly I don’t log in here or blog enough. Every time I come back it’s apparent that I’ve forgotten my password. I’m promising to do better.

DISCLAIMER: This may will be a long entry.

First and foremost, what you’ve all been waiting for… We aren’t pregnant… YET. I say yet because we both are more than positive and hopeful. As I was driving in to work this morning Marvin Sapp’s song “Praise Him In Advance” came on the radio and I immediately cranked up the volume and started SANGIN’! A feeling of overwhelming joy filled my spirit and I knew that all would be alright. Most importantly, I heard God whisper in my ear to not give up hope because what ever my problem is, He has the power, authority and capabilities to solve, fix or resolve them. Baby included. I’ve read story upon story of how he made many barren women of the Bible able to become pregnant with child. Even more recently, everyone around me is getting pregnant and if He does it for them then I know that He will do the same for me. So, as the song says, “I’ve had my share of ups and downs, times when there was no one around, God came and spoke these words to me, praise will confuse the enemy. I started singing, I started clapping, I started dancing, people were laughing, they knew my problems, they knew my pain, but I knew God would take them away.”

That’s right, praise WILL indeed confuse the enemy. So I encourage you all to start celebrating your victories in advance. Celebrate your BFP’s in advance. Don’t let the enemy of depression or anger or frustration get the upper hand. Toss a monkey wrench in that bad boys plan and start celebrating. Not only will the nay sayers or “enemies” become confused, you will feel much better. Trust me. Yes, we got a BFN this cycle, but the blow was no where as detrimental as last month. We took that bit of information and immediately began to devise a plan of “attack” for next cycle. CD1 I began researching the Clear Blue Easy Fertility Monitor. C and I had an in depth discussion about the internet OPK’s that we have been using for the past 4 cycles and they don’t give us enough assurance so we decided to use the Clear Blue Easy Digital OPK’s with the smiley’s but I went a step further and asked what the difference was between the Digital OPK’s and the Monitor. To the internet I went. At $150 a pop I knew I had to find it a bit cheaper but it seemed like this little “machine” would give us the assurance that we were looking for. I found one on Craigslist for $80. It was around 8 am and she had JUST posted the add around 4:50 am. Talk about God working… Any who, I asked would she be willing to drop the price to $70 if I picked it up today with cash and she said yes. So, I immediately drove the 30 some odd minutes to grab our new baby making “machine” timer. She was so sweet and her dogs were cute. She took me inside her home and explained it all to me. She even gave me the 4 test sticks that she had left over.

So, here we are on CD3 and ready to go back at it full force. I’ve gone back to BBT every morning and now I have the extra info from the fertility monitor to add on to my chart. We were able to find the test sticks at one store but I wanted to see if I could find them at another chain for a bit cheaper before I bought them. I’ll make a few calls today and if not I’ll go back to where we originally saw them and scoop them up. I’m praying that no one went in the store since Tuesday and scooped up all 3 boxes. I called a fertility specialist for an appointment as well and I have pics of my cervix and the charts from my last 7 cycles printed out to take with me. Unfortunately, she can’t see me until the 14th of May and we will have done a round of inseminations before then hopefully. Maybe while laying on the table she will tell me that we are pregnant. 🙂

C has been reading up extensively on inseminating to make sure she does everything just right this time so with all of this additional knowledge I know we are all set. We are claiming our victory as mommies! Life is still moving forward and we are even closer to our wedding day then the last time I blogged. Date and time has been all set at the court house. We have joked about a shot gun wedding. LOL. It just may happen and I’m totally fine with that.

So, I’ve let you in on all of that to say this, regardless of your situation/problem praise God and celebrate in advance of your victory. Know that you will over come this hurdle and that God will not steer you wrong. Things all happen for a reason and in order of the way it has been written. I will say that TTC will indeed make you cleave to your spouse and your God/faith more than ever. If anything, you will have a stronger spiritual relationship with your higher power and a much deeper connection with your partner. These are needed and TTC is not a process for the weak at heart!

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Trying Something New

They say to do the same thing repeatedly and expect different results would be considered insane. So, this go round, I haven’t been charting. Well, I’ve been monitoring my cervical fluid for the most part and looking at my cervix with a speculum and mirror. I’ve also had a lovely lady from the TTC blogging world take a peek at my charts. She recommended days to do our insems this month and so far we’ve used her advice. Today will make CD12 so we have one more go round of insems tonight. I’m still waiting to see a positive OPK tho.

We are back from vacation and I’m so much more relaxed and refreshed. I could say that last week was the week from hell and that the Devil was very busy causing a ruckus in our lives week before last or I can look at the fact that God wanted to issue a much needed distraction from all of our TTC anxiety. Either way, we got the message and realized that our vacation was planned exactly when it was needed.

I started off saying that I was going to go back to tempting this cycle after I had stopped last cycle after ovulation was detected but I decided that I did not want to get up at 6 am while on vacation just to take my temperature. Not that I wouldn’t be able to go back to sleep, because I can fall asleep at the drop of a dime, but I wanted to be as relaxed as I could possibly be. 

So, no tempting. I’m just keeping an eye on my CM and doing the OPK’s this month. Have any of you seen your cervix. It’s kinda cool actually. I even have pics on my phone. I feel sorry for anyone who randomly goes thru the photo album. I’ve also decided to stop googling things as I always assume the worst. I was looking at pics of cervixes on beautifulcervix.com and came to the conclusion that my cervix os was indeed too small to accommodate the entrance of semen. Foolishness I’m sure. Since my OB/GYN has never stated any thing of the like, I’ll dismiss that thought, stop googling infertility symptom and continue praying and inseminating.

Let’s see how changing things up a bit will influence this cycle. If for nothing else, not charting has alleviated a lot of stress on my part. Until next go round guys…

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