Stressless or Stress less

So, I’ve been trying to keep my stress levels as low as possible but constantly being concerned with if your body is chugging along like it should when it comes to trying to create a little one can negate that process. No, I haven’t forgotten about this here lovely blog, but most days when I think about blogging on the notion that I should crosses my mind, I can’t find the words at that moment. What I think would be a great blog idea fails to pull together the right words and I abandon the thought just that fast. 

But I’m still here. Trying to stress less and make this process as stressless and joyful as one can. The fact that I have no control over my donor and when he gets his sickle cell screening has placed me in a place where I am forced to realize that God holds all control and I’m quickly reminded of my lesson for 2011; relinquish control. This is hard for a Scorpio, but I know that I can do it. My partner on the other hand, got tested last week and she is not a carrier for the sickle cell trait, so when it’s her time to carry, we will already have this bit of info handy. I’m simply praying that our selected donor is not a carrier and we can do our first run of inseminations next cycle.

Speaking of cycles, this one had me a little concerned. Not concerned like, “Hey, I’m not gonna come on my period because I could be pregnant concerned,” because we all know that without sperm that’s a mute point unless my name is Mary and I’m married to a dude named Joseph, which we know isn’t the case here. More like, “Hey, last month I only went 11 days past ovulation and then I came on and my temperature dropped but this month it’s CD12 and my temperature is still high… Something is wrong with my reproductive system,” concerned. I panicked. Forget the fact that my cervix was extremely low, firm and my cervical mucus was as dry as the Sahara… All signs that my period was impending. I somehow over looked the fact that my lower back was pounding with a dull pain, I felt like someone was wringing the blood out of my fallopian tubes and I was cold… Also symptoms that I was about to start my cycle. I eventually fell asleep last night after reading on the FertilityFriend forum that sometimes it is normal for a woman’s temp to remain high when she starts her menstrual cycle. 

I checked my DivaCup this morning and still no blood but there was a vague tinge of pink when I wiped myself. Eureka! Period would soon flow forth… Some where in the midst of my panic and scrutinizing my charts, I realized that my last 4 cycles have been 25 days in length and since I ovulated on CD13, it was only normal that my luteal phase would last 12 days this cycle to equal 25… God also whispered in my ear that He knows what He is doing and I need not worrying. 

So, I’m gonna continue to sip the hell out of this red raspberry leaf tea and listen to my music in attempts to stress less… This will definitely lead to a joyful pregnancy! 

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